4 Ways to Respond When Someone Bugs You Online

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4 Ways to Reply When Someone Bugs You on Social Media by Frances Caballo

What do you do when someone bugs you online? Heres my answer: Don’t let it get you down. It happens to all of us. Keep reading to learn  my strategies on how to deal with these people.

I visited a ghost town recently.

Well, Monterey isn’t well known as a ghost town, but that’s how I experienced it. You see, I grew up there (yeah, lucky me) and as I drove and walked around town I said to myself, “That’s where my father ate his morning donuts. That’s where Carmen lived and over there is where my friends hung out.”

Monterey is a beautiful town, and my memories of it were always tied to people who either died or no longer live there. I saw ghosts everywhere because I allowed myself to imagine them.

This is was my problem: I linked my present-day ambling around town to my past experiences.

The reason I was in Monterey was to see my sister and nephew. In between the meals we shared, I walked with my black Lab to the wharf, at a park, around the city, and at Carmel Beach, my favorite beach on the Monterey Peninsula.

By the end of my stay, somewhat to my surprise, I’d begun to create new memories.

Don’t Let Past Experiences Deter Your Marketing Today

We all know that it’s not good to live in the past. When we do, we are influenced by past hurts and experiences instead of present opportunities.

By now you might be wondering how this topic relates to social media? Let me explain.

I frequently encounter writers who are living in any number of ghost towns. Their storylines run this way:

  1. I tried using Goodreads, but didn’t like the “meanies.”
  2. Someone called me a name on Twitter, so I stopped using it.
  3. A friend told me that if I use Facebook, I’ll get my email account hacked.
  4. I tried to use Twitter, but then I started getting all these tweets asking me to buy books.
  5. These salacious men were sending me messages on Facebook, so I stopped using it.
  6. Why does everyone automate their Twitter accounts? I can’t stand it.
  7. I tried blogging every week, but it was too much work and no one left comments. So I gave up.

In other words, authors make their foray into the virtual world of social media, have a negative experience, and use that incident to leave their accounts behind, turning them into virtual ghost towns.

[clickToTweet tweet=”Once you start blogging, don’t stop @CaballoFrances” quote=”Once you start blogging, don’t stop “]

4 Strategies for When Someone Bugs You Online

If someone says something rude to you, don’t abandon your profile in a huff. Do this instead:

  1. When you encounter one or two mean persons on Goodreads, ignore them. Continue to make friends with other readers.
  2. Might someone flirt with you on Facebook or refer to you as a phony on Twitter? Maybe. But don’t stop using your account after one bad episode.
  3. Do some poor souls automate tweets thanking new followers? Yes, and they are terribly misguided. Instead of leaving a social media network where you encountered these individuals, ignore them.
  4. Might someone send you a friend message and then spam you with requests to buy their books? It’s happened to me but guess what? I still haven’t left Facebook.

[clickToTweet tweet=”Don’t stop using your social media after one bad incident @CaballoCaballo” quote=”Don’t stop using your social media after one bad incident “]

Weird men have sent me messages indicating that they “couldn’t take their eyes off of me.” (Ew!) Some guy called me a phony on Twitter. Someone posted a picture of a woman wearing a red bra and tagged me in the image on Facebook. And after connecting with me on LinkedIn, someone asked me to vote for their book, buy their book, and subscribe to a blog.

None of these incidents have prompted me to leave social media because the benefits far outweigh the few negative experiences I’ve had.

So please don’t give up if you have an isolated encounter on social media that’s negative, or that grosses you out. Think instead about the readers you’ll meet and connect with and the colleagues you can help out on social media. Instead, follow the advice of Blind Boy Fuller in the son “Trucking My Blues Away” and keep on truckin’.


Authors: Not Sure What to Tweet? Try These 44 Tweets Today by Frances Caballo, AuthorAbout the AuthorFrances Caballo is an author and social media strategist and manager for writers. She’s a regular speaker at the San Francisco Writers Conference and a contributing writer at TheBookDesigner.com and blogger and Social Media Expert for BookWorks. She’s written several books including The Author’s Guide to GoodreadsAvoid Social Media Time Suck, and Twitter Just for Writers, which is available for free here. Her focus is on helping authors surmount the barriers that keep them from flourishing online, building their platform, finding new readers, and selling more books. Her clients include authors of every genre and writer conferences. Not sure how you’re doing online? Ask Frances to prepare a social media audit for you.

Practical Tips for Marketing Your Books on the Social Web

Social Media in 30 Minutes a Day by Frances CaballoI have exciting news! My newest book, Social Media in 30 Minutes a Day, is now available for presale.

In eleven chapters, I help you:

  • understand the new formula for saving time
  • learn how to become a more effective and efficient marketer
  • maintain quick cheat sheets to vocabulary and hashtags
  • learn about the apps that will best help writers save time while using social media.

So start learning how to save time online.



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